Supply and Demand
by Phoenix-cry
Summary: Strung together one-shots that are kind of a back and forth banter. Daniel and Jack are at war with one another and hilarity and mayhem quickly ensue. This 'story' will go on until will go on until they either kill each other or Sam steps in and stops it.
1. Chapter 1

Supply and Demand

"So..." Jack put his hands in his pockets and smiled brightly "what is it that you need?"

"Jack..."

"It's a simple question, Daniel."

"I need..." Daniel stopped. He bowed his head and sighed heavily. "I..."

"What was that?"

Daniel muttered something that was completely unintelligible. Jack's smile spread even wider. He leaned against the door frame casually, his lupine grin matching the mischievous glitter in his eyes. He had been waiting for a moment like this ever since he had met the young archaeologist.

"I'm sorry, Daniel, I didn't hear that."

"I...I need help coming out of the closet."

"I agree." Jack chuckled. "But I don't see how I can help."

"Damn it, Jack!" Daniel roared.

"What?" Jack asked innocently.

"Just get the keys and unlock this goddamn door!!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoOOoOoOoO


	2. Chapter 2

Sam looked up from her computer as Daniel stepped into her lab. He had the look of a cat that had just been let in out of the rain, but still hadn't forgiven its owner for leaving it out there in the first place. He had a handful of technical drawing pens which he held out to her.

"Here are those pens you needed, Sam."

"Thanks."

"Sorry it took so long."

"That's okay...you alright?"

"Just fine."

Sam furrowed her brow at the mischievous smile that twitched the corner of Daniel's lips. He turned around and left her office without further ceremony. Sam shrugged off the event and went back to her work. A few hours later she got up and roamed the SGC looking for Jack. After checking his usual haunts she decided to go ask Daniel if he'd seen him, he'd had that look earlier that he'd verbally tangled with the wise ass General.

Walking past a supply closet Sam thought her ears caught an unusual sound. Ignoring the noise she continued down to Daniel's office. Daniel was pouring over a stone tablet, jotting notes down in a journal as he slowly decoded the usual writing. She cleared her throat to make her presence known. Daniel looked up and smiled.

"Hey, Sam."

"Hey, Daniel. Have you seen General O'Neill? I haven't seen him all afternoon."

"He's probably tied up somewhere."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

NOTE from the PHOENIX: I couldn't help myself, Daniel needed some revenge.


	3. Chapter 3

"Daniel!"

"Yeeeaah!!"

Daniel jerked his head up off his desk and looked around in dazed confusion. The last thing he remembered clearly was drinking from the pitcher of water that was always on his desk. He decided that he must have dozed off. Jack was taking up the door way to Daniel's office with an expression of 'what the hell are you doing?!' permeating every cell in his body.

"Jack? Wha...what's going on?"

"What's going on?" Jack repeated. "Daniel do you have any idea what time it is?"

"I...uh..." Daniel looked at his wrist and found his watch wasn't on. He could have sworn he was wearing it earlier.

"You're late for PX-5798! Carter and Teal'c are already through the Gate. Get up! Come on! Come on!"

Daniel scrambled to his feet and raced around his desk. When he went to turn towards the locker room Jack grabbed him by the collar and hauled him in the other direction.

"No time to change, Carter's got all your gear already."

If Daniel had been in his right mind he would have questioned this statement. As it was he wasn't thinking clearly. He shook it off and allowed Jack to drag him to the Gate room. The wormhole was open and there were some startled Airmen scattered about.

"Jack I don't have..."

"It's fine, go, go, go...don't make us redial you know how much it costs us in power to do that."

"Rig..."

Jack shoved Daniel up the ramp and he stumbled through the open Gate. Jack stood at the bottom of the ramp with a glowing smile.

"Sucker." Jack chuckled.

With the wormhole still established Jack wandered up to the Control room. He watched the information coming in from the MALP and it broadened his grin. Sam wandered into the control room with a cup of coffee.

"How's PZ-4972 looking?"

"Looks good. I think SG-6 will like it."

Teal'c came into the Control room and walked up to the pair.

"General O'Neill, would you perchance know the whereabouts of Daniel Jackson?"

"He's taking a cold shower."

Teal'c gave Jack a shallow bow and left the Control room. Sam noticed the look on Jack's face and it made her suddenly nervous. He was staring into the open Gate with a self satisfied, smug expression that he usually saved for when he had the upper hand over a Goa'uld. She glanced over at the information coming from the MALP. It was thirty-seven degrees and raining hard on the other side. She looked at Jack in horror.

"Oh, Sir...you didn't..."

"Oh, but I did."


	4. Chapter 4

Jack woke with a start, swearing he'd heard the sound of breaking glass. It was a moonless night and his house in the highly wooded neighborhood was nearly pitch black. When the noise repeated itself Jack sat bolt up right. He quietly opened the drawer of his night stand and retrieved the handgun he kept there.

Before Jack got a chance to get out of bed the intruder was suddenly in the bedroom. His silhouette cast in the dim light of the door frame. Jack raise his weapon and went to shout out a warning. However the figure moved towards him swiftly and there was a glint of light at his raised hand that could easily be a knife.

Without hesitating Jack fired. The intruder was flung back and hit the floor hard. Jack jumped out of bed and flicked on the lights.

"Daniel!"

Daniel was laying on his back in a slowly expanding pool of blood. He had one hand clutched to a gory wound in his chest, the white shirt he was wearing soaked in bright red blood. Daniel clawed at the carpet weakly in pain with his other hand where he wore a large watch that had probably caused the flash of light. Battling for breath his blue eyes rolled back.

Jack scrambled over and fell to his knees at Daniel's side. He tried to pull Daniel's hand away from his chest to see how bad the damage was. However the archaeologist had a surprisingly strong grip. Jack's hands were now covered in sticky blood. Daniel arched his back and convulsed.

"Daniel, no!" Jack cried desperately. "Help! Someone help!"

Jack tripped over himself as he launched towards his phone to call 9-1-1. He had just gotten a hold of the phone when the sound of Daniel chuckling ran a chill down his spine. Jack turned around slowly and just stared at Daniel in a mixture of relief and fury.

Sitting up Daniel had a bright smile on his face, still giggling to himself. Jack looked at the horrifying red blood spattering his chest, a little _too_ red. Jack picked up his gun that he had dropped on the bed and checked the clip: blanks. Daniel lifted up his gory hand and sucked the karo syrup 'blood' off his index finger.

"Mmmm...sweet."

"That wasn't funny, Daniel."

"Neither was spending three weeks in the infirmary with pneumonia."

"Yeah, but still... Thi...this was just..._**mean**_."


End file.
